My Barely Organized Ramblings on the Empowered Sexual Female and the Misogynistic Culture of Shame
- July 3rd, 2010
- Write comment
Very recently I was accused of being a pornographer and exploiter of women. At first, I found myself quite upset… Honestly, I was one step away from foaming at the mouth to put things accurately. Basically, the way things went down was this: The mother of one of my models happened across some nude photographs I had done of the model and flipped her wig.
Now, in short, I completely understand the reaction. As a parent myself, it makes total sense as the initial knee-jerk reaction. That’s why when I heard about the incident, I went out of my way to speak face to face with the model’s mother to explain to her that I approached the task of photographing her daughter with the utmost respect and even admiration, that my intentions were never anything even close to resembling exploitive. Not only that, but the model herself is quite proud of herself, her work as a model, and of the photographs in question. As it turns out, the model’s mother wasn’t terribly interested in what I had to say on the matter and decided to use the opportunity to hurl egregious insults at both myself and her daughter right before telling us to get out of her sight. That’s a matter for a different ramble, but it got me thinking about what it was that specifically seemed offensive about the photos.
The photos are undeniably sexual. I admit this; hell, I proudly proclaim it.
The photos are in-your-face sexual, but not degrading or objectifying. They’re sexual in a way that celebrates the mind blowing beauty and power of female sexuality. I shot the photos the way I did out of admiration for one of nature’s most amazing wonders: the human female in her glorious, unafraid, and unapologetically sexual state, unfettered by the expectations of men and society. If I had tried to convey the unfathomable beauty that nature presents in the Grand Canyon or a simple flower, would I have gotten such a reaction? I think not. So why is it that an arguably greater form of nature’s beauty is so scary and offensive in our culture?
Well, I’ll give you my opinion on why, and it’s not just my opinion. It’s one espoused by a large number of sociologists, psychiatric professionals, and feminist leaders. This is nothing new, and if you have had your ears open to the feminist movements of the last several decades, this won’t be the first time you’ve heard it.
When women are sexually open, confident, and empowered without apology or shame, it threatens the long standing concept that men should maintain a monopoly of power. Cultures of male superiority and misogyny have long been a part of most human societies, and shame is very often used by those cultures to keep female sexuality in check. In fact, the English language has it’s very own set of words to describe these women: slut, floozy, harlot, tramp, bimbo, slattern, whore… the list goes on and on. We have an entire society based on this idea of shame-based control of female power. We even make exceptions that allow women that play ball and follow men’s rules of appropriate female sexual attitudes to rise to higher levels in our society. You know, so long as they maintain “decency” and “modesty” in public. This is how the culture gets away with pretending it’s not as wrong and sexist as it is.
To add insult to injury, not only is empowered sexuality shameful for a woman, but those that feel close to such a woman generally end up trying to find a scapegoat to blame for her inappropriate behavior. Since they know their close female friend or family member isn’t a “loose” woman with poor virtue, some evil man must have lead her astray. This actually ends up making a male a victim of their misogynistic behavior as well, but even worse, conveys the assumption that the woman is incapable of making her own decisions and having her own thoughts in addition to the shaming that they’re already throwing her way. So now the sexually empowered woman is sinful, shameful, immoral… and weak and stupid.
So, yeah, without even being an active part of this puritanical culture of misogyny, it’s pretty unsurprising that somebody that has spent the bulk of their life informed by it would find it reasonable and valid; most women from conservative Muslim nations will tell you all about how their beliefs help protect a poor, helpless woman’s virtue just like our puritan culture should have protected this poor, helpless model’s virtue against the threat of her own sexuality and my mustache twirling exploitation.
Afterthought – After banging this ramble out, I’m sooooo much more upset about the impact these events have had on the model than I am about her mother’s personal insults to me. If the model in question ends up reading this, I want to let you know how proud of you I am for overcoming your body image issues in posing for these photographs, and for being the master of your own sexuality. Cheers!
